We are usually unaware of how we act and why we do things the way we do. We all think our way is the correct way and we often cannot understand others who simply don’t see things the way we do.
I have been on a self-discovery journey for over a decade. Evolution and randomness are just too feeble and meaningless to accept as a reason for how we have developed as humans and why we are here.
So far on this journey, I have read many books to try and understand the outside until I came across the book “The road back to you”. The book is about enneagrams (personality types) and how each one of us has certain traits and characteristics that are fixed.
The only way I can improve myself is by embracing my faults, accepting who I am, and that I am not perfect. If only I could see how others see me, I would be able to understand them and myself much better. So far in every chapter I have found traits that I associate with, where I can see patterns.
It is almost like looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing all the black or pink spots on your face and all over your body. It is not a pretty sight but at least so far it has given me a good idea about how I have been dealing with myself and others.
Take this first example which is about personality type 1 (The Perfectionist). Read the example in this image first.
Now when I started reading this book, I never thought of myself as a perfectionist. In fact, I sometimes feel that I don’t do the job as perfectly as I should and I should pay more attention to the details. Sometimes I rush into things and just want them down fast and quickly but I always pay the price for having to come back to it and redoing the same job which now takes twice as long.
The truth is, that’s me. Putting it humorously I tell my wife:
1. large dishes should not cover the small ones behind,
2. greasy cutlery wash at 45 degrees Celsius is a no no,
3. plastic is not to be washed in the dishwasher,
4. wine glasses must stand up at exactly 85 degrees angle or else the water won’t spray the inside.
5. The filter needs to be washed and cleaned every Sunday morning at 10:00 before a full system rinse at 70 degrees
I am slightly exaggerating the above as I said humorously but the truth is not far off. I rearrange the dishwasher after she has loaded. I find faults and imperfections in many things much easier than you would ever imagine.
I am horrified to read this and think that this is a part of who I am or how my personality is and as I read I learn that I have many traits from many other personality types.
The important thing here is not for me to find a personality type that I can associate with, but rather to find the traits that make up my personality, understand them, and find ways of improving them.
If I want to improve my leadership skills, I must first find out how people perceive me, I must learn about the way I communicate with people and how that message comes across to them.
As a startup entrepreneur, I can highly recommend this book. Read it not to place yourself in a box of personality type, but rather to just spot traits of personality types where you can suddenly feel as if the book has framed you naked in front of the mirror. You can’t deny it.
When we understand those traits then we can start to work on improving ourselves, balancing those traits with awareness, and making sure that we become better communicators and leaders.
The best thing I have done as an entrepreneur is to start this self-discovery journey, to find out who I am, to work towards becoming a better communicator, and improve my leadership skills. Note that I said start, because it is just a journey and I am somewhere along that path, for I don’t think there is ever an end to becoming a perfect communicator or leader, just steps towards improving thy self.
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